Words are a powerful instrument that can either lift you up or bring you down in a matter of seconds. Naturally, we are open to our partners and everything they have to say. Likewise, our loved ones are most sensitive to our remarks, comments, criticism, and other modes of communication that are less pleasant. Being in a relationship, you really need to filter what you say and how you say it as the damage caused by a few simple phrases can often be irreversible, causing problems for years to come. Here are 8 things you should never say in a relationship, unless you want to break up.
โYou donโt know anythingโ
This phrase might have been harmless for Jon Snow, but for us non-fictional beings those words sting like a bee. Even if youโre arguing, this phrase doesnโt do anything good โ it just diminishes your partnerโs intelligence and cripples his self-worth. If you feel that your partner doesnโt quite understand the issue, itโs best to say something like โFrom where I standโฆโ โ make it about you and your feelings, not your partnerโs wrongdoings!
โEveryone knows thatโs not how you do itโ
The so-called โglobal criticismโ is the worst thing ever as it hits your partner fully as a whole person and on different levels. A phrase like โNo, thatโs no how you do it. Everyone knows it should be done like thisโฆโ is a blow below the waist, really. Try not to compare your loved one to other people or the whole world in general that supposedly knows best โ it doesnโt. And your significant other may end up hurt for a long time.
โDonโt take it personally, butโฆโ
Well thatโs the exact way to make sure your loved one will take things personally. If you want to be truthful, make sure you phrase whatever you want to say as gently as possible. Thereโs a thin line between being intimately sincere with your loved one and openly criticising whatever you donโt like about him or her. Think whether what youโre about to say will do both of you any good or is it something that you should simply accept as part of your partnerโs personality.
โYou seem to have gained a few poundsโ
Before criticising your partnerโs change in appearance, be it extra weight, bad skin condition or smelly breath, think carefully what could be the reason behind those things. Usually itโs not simply because your partner โlet himself goโ, the issues run deeper and you have to explore the roots of the problem. Stress, too much work, low immunity, lack of sleep, and even supressed feelings โ all these could make your partner feel and look worse. So instead of commenting on the outcome, try to address the issue and get to the bottom of whatโs bothering your loved one.
READ ALSO: 7 ways to say love you without saying word
โI hate youโ
Different things can be said in the heat of the moment, but the H word should never be uttered out loud. As easy as it is to blurt it out, the impact caused by this phrase will last for months or even years, resurfacing each time your partner feels hurt or the two of you get into an argument. Donโt ever make your SO feel that he/she is not loved, even when youโre in a serious fight. Youโll regret it, but itโll be too late to take the words back.
โI donโt have time for thisโ
You might be a super busy person building a career and chatting on the phone 24/7, but that doesnโt mean that your relationship should suffer because of it. Brushing your partner off with this phrase will definitely hurt his feeling and he will not feel like sharing anything with you for a long time. If thereโs a pending issue he wants to discuss, ignoring his needs like that will only lead to a bigger crisis. So if you really donโt have time to discuss things now, be sincere about it and offer a day or an evening when youโll sit down and talk about everything thatโs happening. This way your partner will now that you actually care.
โNow thatโs just silly/stupidโ
You should be really careful with comments when your partner opens up about something. If he or she thinks itโs important to share this with you, a phrase like โItโs stupidโ will hurt you loved one in ways you canโt even imagine. Trust is one of the building blocks of a happy and healthy relationship โ you need to be sure that you wonโt be laughed at when you pour your heart out to your partner, and he should feel the same way! Otherwise things wonโt work between you two.
โNo, Iโm not sorryโ
Being in an argument is tough as it is, but itโs even more difficult to say youโre sorry. And yet, sometimes itโs the only way to mend things! Itโs useless to hold on to your pride when you need to think about the needs and feelings of the other person. Admit that mistakes have been made or you were wrong or rudeโฆthereโs always something you can apologize for! A simple โIโm sorryโ can do wonders for all types of relationships.
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